Find contentment by aligning your lifestyle and values.

The first time I truly felt content with my life was when I was 52.

Some may say it’s sad it took that long, but frankly, I’m fortunate to finally feel that level of peace and satisfaction while there is still time left for me on earth to enjoy it.

And it was worth the wait, too; feeling contentment is everything.

But it does take a little work to achieve.

When I learned to stop living on autopilot and focus on who I am and what I wanted, I could begin the process of designing a unique lifestyle that was based solely on my own values and beliefs.

So, in this article, I want to go over some of the principles I created in my life and some of the ways I practice aligning my thoughts and actions in a manner that leads to contentment.

Everyone will define satisfaction and fulfillment differently, but these worked for me and may serve as productive kindling for your own ideas.

8 ways to feel contentment

With just a little work, you can be blessed with contentment. Here are some thoughts on how to get started.

Align actions with values

For many years (decades), I lived on autopilot, going through the motions without regard to how I felt or what I believed in. So it should not come as a surprise to learn then that I never felt contentment before with my life. Honestly, how on earth could I? I didn’t know what my values and beliefs were, what I stood for, or what I truly wanted in life. I wasn’t even in a position to tell if I was even on the right track or not, let alone having a sense of living with fulfillment or purpose.

Defining what you stand for and how you feel about things is an essential foundational step to becoming content and getting in touch with your emotions. Once we know how we think about things and what we believe in, we can align our actions accordingly, and aligning our efforts with our values requires thought and persistence to stay on track.

For example, one of my life values is “I may not be the most talented, but I am passionate about what I do, which I value immeasurably.” What I mean by that (from a professional standpoint) is although I keep working to improve my content and writing abilities, being passionate about what I do is really the driving force behind everything; it is the beacon I use to navigate the direction of my efforts and the decisions I make.

Why? Because I find contentment in my work. Not because millions of people read and consume my content or because I make a fortune doing it; neither is the case. I am content with my work because I believe in it, try my best, and am passionate about it; that leads to contentment because those are things I value most when I consider who I am and what I want in life.

When we work through each aspect of our lives and apply this reasoning, we align our actions with our values and beliefs. Over time, this will naturally lead to a feeling of contentment and happiness.

Learn to live with less

The times in my life when I was most happy, and content were oddly the exact times I made the least money.

In my early twenties, I had no money, yet somehow, I always took trips with friends to a party at a lake, climbed a mountain, or learned to surf. We were all young and thought it was okay to be broke, so we carpooled, shared rooms, and slept on each other’s couches because the material things didn’t matter as much as the experiences we shared.

When I was in my forties, I bought a charming 3/2 house in a gated community. I redid the kitchen, had Ethan Allen come in and update my furniture to match the wall coverings, and added a pool and jacuzzi. I also had a job where I made more money than ever. Sounds fantastic, right? But there was a problem.

I was absolutely miserable with my life.

I worked long, high-stress hours to make that money and wanted to leave for a more straightforward job making less money. Of course, I could not do that because I built a lifestyle that demanded the current monthly income. A high mortgage and car payments will do that.

So, I forced a reboot in my life. I quit my job, sold my house and most of my possessions, and moved into a small one-bedroom apartment.

I started a new career path, making far less money, but I was learning and passionate and felt wonderfully alive. I also worked reasonable hours and had more free time each day than I had in many years. It was glorious, and I was happy because having fewer things allowed me to focus on what was truly meaningful.

I am 55 now (at the time of this writing). Eighteen months ago, I sold everything I owned to slowly travel around the world, living out of a backpack, and I’ve never been happier.

Now, I’m not saying having nice things is a problem. What I am saying is having more possessions does not mean you will be happy and content. And I think the less you require to be satisfied, the more opportunities there are to be pleased with your life.

Become an optimist

This is one of my favorite lessons since I started practicing intentional living; whether something is good or bad has more to do with perception and less with reality. Here’s an example.

When I first started traveling, I was making some videos for YouTube on the locations I visited. When I was on the island of Paros in Greece, I was trying to use my GoPro to film a section of the marina. I was holding the camera while filming myself in front of the marina when someone walked right behind me and was in the shot.

I shrugged it off and moved closer to the dock’s edge so others would walk in front of me and not behind me. As I started filming again, another person walked behind me, and it happened 2 more times. Frustrated, I decided they were doing it on purpose because they didn’t want me filming in the area, so I left, and I was disappointed with their behavior.

So, I set up the same arrangement at a new location down the road and started filming again. Within a few minutes, a couple stopped at my side, and the man clearly didn’t know whether to walk in front or behind me. I stopped filming and waved them by with a smile.

That’s when I realized the people at the marina earlier were not intentionally walking into my shot to interrupt me; they walked behind me because they were trying to avoid getting in the way.

They were being nice; I was being a jerk. Why did I assume the worst that people were intentionally trying to ruin my video? Honestly, it was probably because it was hot outside, and I didn’t get enough sleep, so I was in a bad mood and had a negative mindset. So, the moral is that when our view of the world is optimistic, we are more likely to feel happy and content in our daily routines.

Pause before you react

Let a second or two pass when something happens before you react or form an opinion. Sometimes, our initial knee-jerk reactions are adverse but go away quickly.

When I was walking back to my Airbnb the other day, it was starting to rain, and a fellow traveler stopped me to ask where the nearest mini-mart was. I was initially bothered by being stopped for the first few seconds because I wanted to get back before the heavy rain started. But after a second, I realized I had been on the other end of this conversation, so I smiled and took the time to get him on the right track.

We all can be grumpy sometimes and in a foul mood; it happens, but if we pause and be mindful of the situation, we can maybe catch our behavior and make it more positive. When we align our behavior with how we want people to view us, we are on a path toward contentment.

Negative things are singular

There’s no avoiding it; negative things will happen in life; when they do, we should remember that it is not necessarily permanent or all-encompassing. We can train ourselves to look at that one negative thing as an island; not all islands are hostile.

I mean, when I get a negative comment online, it hurts, sure. But I only let it hurt for a few seconds, and then I go on with life because one nasty statement from one person does not necessarily reflect how everyone feels. Said another way, don’t assume that because one thing sucks that everything sucks.

The past is not the future

In case you didn’t know, just because something did not work out in the past doesn’t mean it will also fail in the future.

For example, after 30 years of smoking, I could finally quit for good in 2018. As life-changing as that was, I must have tried hundreds of times unsuccessfully to quit. But just because I failed before didn’t mean I’d fail in the future. If you’ve had some failures in the past, give yourself a break and leave them in the past. Walk into the future with your head held high.

It is impossible to be content with life and think the future will suck. So, we need to unsuck how we view the future, and a good start is to only learn from the past; never live in it.

Enjoy the simple things

When you can find pleasure in the simplest of things, you will feel content more often during your day.

So, the next time you order a cappuccino, take a second to look at the foam pattern the barista made before diving in. Allow the aroma of the coffee to reach your nose, and take a moment to let that set in and savor the coffee experience.

The other day, I went for a jog around the lake where I am staying, and instead of walking straight back to the hotel, I got off the trail and walked around the water’s edge. Walking around the lake, I noticed all the different flowers, birds, turtles, and insects. When I was jogging, they were out of view, but when I slowed down and looked closer, there was so much to see I spent another 30 minutes just exploring and looking.

When I was finished, I walked back to the Airbnb with a big smile on my face; I felt happy, at peace, and content. Pleasure from the simplest of things can do that to a person.

Stop comparing yourself

When I was younger and saw someone rich and famous on TV, I used to think they had it made. Now that I am older, when I see that same type of person, I smile and am thankful I am not them. Being rich and famous means working long hours and putting up with the media tracking your every move. Plus, worrying about your image and having everything you do publicly scrutinized.

Yuck. No thanks.

I’ve learned that by focusing on myself and considering what I want out of life, I can gain a deeper understanding of my identity, aspirations, and direction. I do not feel the need to compare myself to others because I am content with my own unique journey in life.

There was a time in my life when I did things because I thought that was what I was supposed to do, what was socially acceptable, and what I thought proved I was getting ahead in life. As we scan our social media feeds and see everyone with fancy, expensive things, it’s tempting to start feeling like maybe we are being left behind. That can lead to a feeling that we need to start competing with them. Then, we may view other people’s successes as negatives because of our insecurities.

That kind of comparison logic will not lead to contentment; it will probably lead to a lifestyle that causes wellness issues like stress, anxiety, and other health problems. We are all unique, and we all want different things in life. When we spend time figuring out what we want out of life, we can pursue those things without worrying about what others do or have.

These are some of the ways I practice aligning my thoughts and actions in a manner that leads to contentment. As I mentioned earlier, everyone will define happiness and satisfaction differently, but these worked for me and may serve as productive kindling for your own ideas.

Closing thought

We find true contentment when we learn to embrace who we are and stop comparing ourselves to others; when we are content, we are truly blessed.