Don't let the past cloud your judgment of the present.

The other day, I received an email from someone I grew up with from grade school through high school.

~ Thanks for the note, Philip!

It was just a few sentences saying how he went down a Google rabbit hole while looking up some old friends (like we’ve all done), and he was kind enough to drop me a note.

It was a nice gesture, and it made me reflect for a few minutes on those years and kindled various memories and nostalgic thoughts.

As I went about my day, I found myself reflecting on my youth, high school, then college, and the years that followed; I guessed you’d call it a trip down memory lane, and it was a fun distraction.

However, these days, I am mindful of my thoughts, and so after a short while, I found it interesting that my nostalgia for the good old days manifested into the reality that, wait, there was nothing especially good (or bad, for that matter) about those days at all.

They occurred, as did yesterday and as will tomorrow, but there was nothing about that time that made it special.

Maybe they were special just because they happened, and it’s nice to think back and appreciate having gone through those things, but the time period itself was not notable.

But why, then, did I start off thinking about the good old days with a one-sided opinion that those times were, for lack of a better term, better? They weren’t; they were just different.

When I think back to when I was eight years old, I could say those days were better because I didn’t have to work, all my meals were cooked for me, I had no bills, and I just played and napped all day.

But, I could also say I didn’t know anything, had no freedom, and my only clear memories were that I liked going to the swim club and wanted to be older.

Maybe that’s too young for an example.

In high school, I was captain of the football team, had friends, dated, went to parties, and somehow graduated and got a football scholarship to college, so these could be considered the good old days because of the many fond memories of times, milestones, and relationships.

But, if I stop to scrutinize what my days were really like, I mostly remember struggling with depression (although that wouldn’t be diagnosed until later in life) and coped by drinking every day (made possible thanks to my fake ID), and I felt awkward emotionally.

So, don’t get me wrong, there were some great times and experiences, but there were also some things that really sucked.

These realizations, in and of themselves, aren’t necessarily problematic.

However, I have a bad habit of basing my current opinions (at least partly) on things from the distorted viewpoint of the overly optimistic past without considering if that comparison was fair or even accurate.

In other words, I allow my view of the good old days to skew present reality.

When I look to the past, I filter out negative memories of the time by default; maybe this is a natural thing everyone does (albeit to varying degrees).

But, if I pause and take a moment to reflect and look deeper, I come to the realization that not everything was great, and I shouldn’t allow a false opinion of the past to influence my belief in the present.

I also think we tend to focus on the things we don’t have and often take for granted the things we do have.

So when you combine that with a false assumption of the good old days, it can often seem like things are worse now than they were before; nostalgia shouldn’t blind us to the reality of the present.

Every era of our lives will have its ups and downs, and things might not have been as perfect as we first remember them.

And that’s fine.

Just don’t let dwelling on how we remember the past overly (or unfairly) influence how we are able to assess our current situation objectively.

That way, we can make the most of the opportunities and challenges that the present offers.

Take politics (please)

When we read the news today, it seems like everyone in politics is far too partisan to get anything done; there appears to be criminal activity (Trump and Biden classified documents), overspending (pick a topic), issues with cognitive abilities (Biden and Trump), and even sexual charges (E. Jean Carroll case). One could look at that and assume we’ve lost our way and yearned for a simpler time in our past when politics were run by honest people looking to serve the people.

Ahem.

But if we look back at the good old days, we’d remember criminal activity (Nixon), overspending (you can still pick any topic), cognitive abilities (Ronald Reagan), and even sexual charges (Bill Clinton).

And look, I’m not here to justify, accuse, or defend anyone or any situation, but the point is these things have always been around. In my opinion, today’s government isn’t really any different than generations past. So when I find myself stressing over how things are going right now in politics, I pause and remember that this is nothing new. There were no good old days; therefore, there was no time to long for and be nostalgic about. It may not mean what’s happening today (or in the past) is right, but it’s certainly nothing new, so I don’t worry too much about things I can’t control.

Or how about movies?

My favorite movie of all time is the 1942 classic Casablanca, which starred Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Peter Lorre, Claude Rains, and Sydney Greenstreet. (Now that’s a cast!).

As the stereotype goes, older movies had to rely more on storytelling, character development, natural effects, and physical editing due to the lack of technology of the times. Counter that with today’s advanced digital technologies, and we get blockbusters such as Jurassic Park, Avatar, and The Avengers, and even movies like The Irishman, where digital filters allow actors in their 80s to play roles in their forties or fifties again.

Do we long for the times of the good old days when storytelling was paramount to the special effects? Maybe. It depends on the film. In my mind, a good movie is a good movie, old or new, and that is very subjective. But when I hear about the golden age of Hollywood, I’m just not sold on it being a better time for movies. Maybe it was different, or perhaps even the same in many ways. There were good and bad films made, just like today. There were probably actors and actresses hooking up, creating gossip for the tabloids, and talent on set were perhaps making irrational demands and treating people like garbage, just as happily married professionals acted cordially and politely on stage. Again, same as today.

Problems with projecting

Sometimes, the world seems like it’s on fire, and everyone is out only for themselves. Given mainstream media’s repeated dose of negativity, it’s an easy narrative to lean into.

And this kind of blends politics and movies, but the notion that times were somehow better in the good old days reminds me of the line from the 1995 movie The American President, where President Shepherd (played by Michael Douglas) talked about how you use the good old days to inspire (if not mislead) people to think a certain way. I’ll give you one paragraph from the Press Conference speech:

“We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only: making you afraid of it, and telling you who’s to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle aged, middle class, middle income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family, and American values and character, and you wave an old photo of the President’s girlfriend and you scream about patriotism. You tell them she’s to blame for their lot in life.”

First, you should see the movie if you haven’t because it’s good. It was written by Aaron Sorkin, who also wrote most of The West Wing television spin-off, which was also excellent.

Second, the bit about “…You gather a group of middle aged, middle class, middle income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family, and American values and character…tell them she’s to blame for their lot in life…” really speaks to the power and influence our opinion of the good old days can have on our present view of the world. And that there are people out there who know how to weaponize this concept (and I don’t say that lightly because I hate using the word weaponize). But, I mean, look at today’s political landscape and tell me that’s not still prevalent.

Now, I know the example is just a movie, but I think it accurately represents how many of us, by default, assume the good old days were better than perhaps they were. Worse, we routinely project those (probably inaccurate) thoughts and feelings when making decisions on how we feel and act in the present.

That is problematic. Biased, even.

This mindset can even develop in how we view ourselves and the lifestyle decisions we make.

For example, my current lifestyle choice involves starting a freelance writing career. As with most things, such a decision has pros and cons, and one of the realities is that it takes time to develop your business, which is fine.

However, sometimes I get impatient and am too critical of myself because I remember the good old days when I could work twelve hours a day, seven days a week, to shorten production cycles and make things happen faster. But, I started working less because of a mix of health concerns and changes in my lifestyle preferences. When I reflect on the periods when I used to put in long hours, I tend to focus just on the financial benefits, but I should also realize that I missed out on enjoying life outside the office, and I didn’t fully grasp the health problems it eventually led to and that I had to address. So, my harsh self-criticism is biased towards an inaccurate narrative of something from my past and not accurate (or deserving) of my present situation.

Keep things in perspective

Look, it’s natural to have fond memories and feel nostalgic for the past eras of our life, but I think we need to guard against it prejudicing our present life.

First, the past isn’t going to be a reliable map or guide to use for the events, situations, or circumstances we will encounter now or moving forward. Our modern society, advanced technology, and personal circumstances are all constantly changing and evolving, and what once worked for us or was relevant in the past may not (will not) always apply in today’s context. So, relying too heavily on past experiences (and how we feel about them) without considering our current conditions can lead to inaccurate decisions, behavior, and thoughts.

Second, nostalgia is a lot like social media feeds in that they often tend to highlight only the most positive and exciting (maybe even exploitable) aspects of the past while completely overlooking all the negatives.

It’s this selective memory that can lead to a skewed perspective.

There are times when looking to the good old days can be insightful, indeed, but we need to be mindful to acknowledge that there were challenges and problems in the past as well; ignoring these aspects can lead to unrealistic expectations and poor decision-making or worse, clinging too much to the past can hinder our personal growth and even our openness to change.

Finally, it’s also important to recognize that what we think may have been acceptable (or even ethical) in the past might not align with our contemporary values and standards. And along those lines, remember that not everyone will view the good old days as you do, too. It’s just another layer of the nostalgia onion to consider when looking back to the good old days.

Final thought

Remembering past people, milestones, and memories is a great way to celebrate life. And although reflecting on (and even learning from) the past may actually provide value, I think it’d be wise to prioritize more on making a consciously balanced assessment of our current circumstances, needs, and values first and less on nostalgia from the good old days.

In other words, the good old days probably weren’t, so don’t use the past to cloud your judgment of the present.